I’m giddy with
excitement, as my husband wrote to me in a letter on our wedding day, to
announce that my husband is on his way HOME!!! I’m so overwhelmed with emotion
and feel so very close to being able to breath again! That’s the best way I can
describe it. I feel like the last 11 ½ months, inhaling and exhaling have been
at half capacity. And when you’ve held your breath for so long, the thought of
even being able to experience a full breath again almost seems unreal.
Wow, the word
unreal. It just came out and seems so ironic, as I feel like last January I
probably held onto that word. That idea. Middle of the year I believe I
expressed the “reality” of things, of
life. It has obviously come full circle. Amazing!
The last several
days feel to me like the week before Charlie left. My emotions are experiencing
so many unknowns. Excitement, worry, anxiousness. I’ve been training myself to
try and be open-minded and just loving and patient. Charlie doesn’t seem so
worried, so hopefully his confidence in how are life back together might be,
can hopefully carry us both along. So much focus is put on how difficult
reintegration can be, but he doesn’t seem to think it’s that big of a deal, or
at least not as big a deal as many seem to make it. I bet his laid-back frame
of mind will be helpful.
To now tell the
girls that Daddy will be home in just a few days is just… nice. Beyond nice and
good and happy. It’s been exhausting to tell them, “half way done”… “only 3 more months”…. “four
more weeks.” Ha! We are down to days! Yesssssss!
Although an
emotional time, as the entire year has been, soon we will all be cuddling,
playing, driving together, meals together, parenting fully together, staring at
each other’s face in amazement. Love it!
Like giving birth
to a perfect, healthy baby and feeling beyond blessed for that because some
families do not get a healthy baby, Charlie coming home after a hard, dangerous
year, I feel so blessed, as some do not have their soldier returning. Thinking
this always humbles me more than anything. The sacrifice some have endured is
unimaginable. I am so thankful for my husband’s breath.
